When a change is occurring in your life, whether it’s one of nature’s changes, such as a new baby or the menopause, it can feel like a really big upheaval which pushes you out of your comfort zone into an area full of fear and uncertainty.
Think about it – a new baby, for instance. It can be a very exciting time when you first find out ( if you are happy with the circumstances – if you’re not, then the stress and anxiety can start at that moment). It is a time for celebration, and a time for sharing, relaxing, feeling special, with hopefully not too much morning sickness! Then gradually, your body starts to change, maybe towards the end your partner feels he shouldn’t be too intimate, or maybe you simply don’t feel the closeness you used to, because now there is a different priority in your life.
Then baby arrives ……but hold on, there’s no manual!! Suddenly (1st babies), you are responsible for this little person’s life, you have a zillion things to do, you’re trying to lose the baby weight, you haven’t got time to eat properly, your partner needs attention, you need a hair cut, the dog needs feeding, the house is a tip and the washing is stacked up to the roof. Each of these changes and demands heaps on top of the last one and suddenly there’s anxiety. Can I do this? I need help! My partner thinks I look fat/unattractive, tired and dowdy. Why is he late home from work? I’m a bad mother, and so on. Self-doubt, worry and anxiety all thrown into the pot, and still no manual!
Menopause, or as our elders liked to call it “the change”. What an embedded suggestion! It’s almost like preparing us for changing from a woman to a zombie overnight! Our mothers and grandmothers tell us horror stories of how their hair fell out, their chest fell to meet their knees, and the river ran dry within a week. The anxiety of expecting all of that can be overwhelming, not for everyone, but for the ones who inadvertently feed the anxiety by fearing the worst, based on other people’s stories.
In reality, for some the menopause can be a time when the feeling of loss is enormous, others feel less of a woman, while others feel liberated, free from the monthly cost and inconvenience that used to be. Some ladies say they feel as if their identity has been lost in the anxiety, and it’s a downward spiral, while others book themselves into the nearest salon for a makeover and go out to tell the world they are loud and proud!
It’s not the changes, it’s the response to the changes that creates the anxiety. The two life changes highlighted here are natural stages of a woman’s life, and no matter what your past was, each of these changes is a fantastic opportunity to add yet another dimension to the wonderful you.
If you’re feeling anxious about these or any other changes, why not give me a call for a chat? At the very least you’ll have options of ways to feel better and enjoy your life – with or without a manual!!
Lynda Roberts is an established Hypnotherapist and Hypnotherapy Trainer, helping women to live an anxiety-free life from her busy practice in Colchester, Essex. Skype available on request.